We are coming up to the end of another year, it is hard to believe a year just went by just like that. Now is a good time to reassess your relationship, even if you think your relationship is perfect a tune-up is always good.
It is amazing to see the kind of energy we put into work, school and for you guys, cars. However, a good relationship needs work, energy and stamina.
We make New Year’s resolution about many things, what we will achieve in the coming year, what we are going to have, so why not make a few about your relationship.
Let us dig in and see how these suggestions may sit with you in deciding resolutions for your relationship:
1. We will remember to pray together. If you are atheist this will not work for you, however, if you are both sharing your faith together and you do not pray together, maybe you should include this in your resolution for the coming year. It is said that ‘the family that prays together, stays together’ this would be the perfect start for your relationship.
2. Trusting each other. That should come easy, but one of the challenges of most relationship is in the area of trust. Trusting someone with your feelings is a difficult thing to do, but if you make an effort to do this then chances are you could get there. It really all starts with the decision to trust and then you can move from there, taking risk tolerance, looking at levels of adjustment, relative power, situational factors, security, number of similarities and differences, alignment of interest, capability, predictability and credibility, and there are more but for now, here are a few things to explore.
3. Commit to learning about each other. I know, why would you decide to make that a resolution, but there are married folks that will tell you that when they got married after a while they are realizing that they could not imagine who they married, the person appeared totally different from expected. Do not marry to a dream but to a person, you know. Once both of you commit to learning about each other, it will reveal enough for you to make an informed decision about moving forward.
4. Keep dating each other. For those who are still going out on dates, you can skip on to point 5. After a couple of months, many persons slack off with dates, why? It is just how we are, we put our best foot forward and we land our prey, the only time, when we pay attention, to the prey is if we are in danger of losing it. We take our significant other for granted and things become stale. Make a resolution to keep dating each other, it is almost a guarantee that your relationship will be successful if you apply this important factor.
5. Do not hold on to grudges. The things that kill relationships are things that we think is done against us. In a relationship, you should both commit to being a team. When you do something that hurts, you will let it go because you did not mean to hurt yourself, it would be ridiculous if you held a grudge against yourself. When the honeymoon period starts to wane, you’ll start seeing your partner for who they truly are. Sometimes you’ll like their little quirks and sometimes it will irritate you. Regardless of what it is, have a short memory, Dr Whatley says. “After your first anniversary, it’s important to learn how to let things go. That also includes the past. “trudging the past up with each new offence is harmful to the wellbeing of the partnership,” she says. These things are blockages to connection, so don’t hold onto them.
The decision to be decisive, the quality of being determined or resolute is what you are going to need for a successful relationship. It is very difficult when there are so many distractions, those great movies on Netflix, traffic on the road, the stress of work, preparing for a new work week and the list goes on, where are we going to find the time to build our relationship, the one thing that can truly affect all facets of your life. Go ahead and make the resolution and save yourself some stress and live long and happy.