It is said that love is blind, however, what I will say when we are caught up with our emotions, we overlook signs that we would otherwise pay attention to when we are attracted to someone. Physical attraction can make us blind to personality traits and character, or we would much rather overlook or give the benefit of any doubt.
There are some clear signs that you should be aware of and the signs your partner has commitment phobia are signs you should never overlook. We all wear a mask, some of us wear it so well it is difficult to know the genuine for the fake, however, let us take a look at some of the things that we can observe in our partner that would suggest they are struggling with commitment.
Falling in love with someone who is a commitment phobic person can be very difficult, I would suggest knowing the signs and looking out for them before falling hopelessly in love. The symptoms suggested here may not match all of what you are observing in your partner, but if too many are, then you need to pay attention, and if you are already in love with this person, then oops!
- Past relationships are either rocky or short. Pay attention to someone who has had several relationships in the past and the relationships have always been about the other person’s fault. They seldom take responsibility for what they contributed to the breakups.
- They are unpredictable. It is a beautiful evening, you are both having a civil conversation and just like that, they blow up, walk out and sometimes refuse to talk about it. After days of not talking they come back wanting to forget about the exchange and declaring it was your fault.
- They do not have close friends. Most persons with phobias have a challenge in forming long-term relationships, there is always something wrong with the individuals involved. They are good at work, buying a car, dealing with objects, but with people? not so good.
- They do not like labels. When you introduce him as your boyfriend, he is visibly uneasy and probably never introduces you as his girlfriend, always by name.
- They seldom say the L-Word. When you are alone with each other you may hear it, but never in public, when persons are in love they are expressive, shy maybe but still expressive.
- They are combative. They are more interested in showing superiority in the relationship than forming a partnership, there is always something to prove, and the simplest of things develops into an argument.
- The criticize endlessly. You can never please your man, and in your mind, the question is what does he truly love about you? If you have to search to find the reason why your partner chose you and he is not clear then this is a clear sign he could be suffering from commitment phobia.
- They have an issue with committing to dates. The question can be as simple as, “Will I see you later?”, their answer could be anything from, “I am not sure” to “maybe”, “I will call you and tell you if I am available in a couple of hours” and they will call last minute to cancel. Same days plans, but long-term plans, not really. If he/she is most times complaining about something, always attacking the opposite sex, most times unavailable for important events to you, then be careful.
If you have been dating for several years yet your relationship is not defined, your conversations are never about the future, the talk about marriage and commitment always seem to trail off into talking about it another time then chances are you are in a relationship with someone who is commitment phobic. If you want to get out of a toxic relationship then you can talk about it to a confidant, counsellor or trustworthy friend.