You wake up in the morning and you feel that you got no sleep the night before, do you know the feeling? It’s a feeling most of us have experienced at some time or the other, except for those who walk with their coffee everywhere they go and sometimes immediately after the coffee the crash.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the ability to relate to the emotions of others. Sometimes we do feel we have the power to regulate the feelings of family and friends, but after careful consideration, I realized that it was just too tiring to go through life trying to control the reaction of others.
My mother suffered from depression for most of her adult life, but she was able to mask it for a very long time. Having suffered two nervous breakdowns, I decided it was necessary to research the ins and outs of the mind. It was Justin Bariso who said, “Emotional intelligence begins with what is called self- and social awareness, the ability to recognize emotions (and their impact) in both yourself and others. That awareness begins with reflection. You ask questions like:
What are my emotional strengths? What are my weaknesses? How does my current mood affect my thoughts and decision making? What’s going on under the surface that influences what others say or do?
Pondering questions like these yield valuable insights that can be used to your advantage.”
We may not have much control over the feelings that hit us, these feelings can be triggered by experiences we had as kids, the images around us, a familiar smell or even an unfamiliar one and despite our inability from preventing a bird from flying on our heads, we can prevent the bird from building a nest.
It was a deep conversation with my mother that led me to believe that we have more control than we think we do. She just kept saying, “I cannot help it”, she did not even try. Her grandmother and then her mother both had breakdowns and they never recovered.
I find that when someone is able to demonstrate empathy, the ability to put their foot in another’s shoe, preventing themselves from labelling and judging others, the ability to see things from another person’s perspective, we are on the way to emotional intelligence. I am not suggesting that you are going to agree with everything a person says, but striving to understand where the person is coming from will allow you to build more meaningful relationships and an understanding of yourself. How to learn about emotional intelligence, click on the link.
When we are able to breakdown our emotions and regulate our feelings and reactions, that is a mastery I think anyone would aim for. Click to see how this can be done.
I would only encourage us to continue sharpening our emotional intelligence as this will translate into better marriages and relationships. Learning about the world around us is an ongoing process. Take the time for self-discovery and more harmoniously our lives will be.
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