We have a right to our secrets, don’t we? But the question is, when is it the right time to reveal your secret to the one you love? Give me a break; she said, ‘this is going with me to the grave’ there was no way of convincing her that it cannot be ethical to be born a man changed to a woman and not share this with someone interested in you.
‘When the relationship is getting to the point of getting too serious, I will just bail’, she said. More and more persons are coming out and talking about been born one gender and feeling like the other, they sometimes suffer in silence, and it is now said that 50% of the amount contemplate suicide which is appalling and instead of being judgmental of these persons we need to step back and try to understand what could be happening in their minds.
If you include someone in your life, it is only fair that you make them know who you are; transparency is the key to happiness and a successful friendship; it is not your secret anymore.
I applaud Bruce Jenner, now call Caitlyn Jenner, a man who decided to come out and tell his truth and even be a voice for those experiencing the same conflict. Still, I also wondered how long he has been struggling with this, how could he start a family; it would be the same if a man was married to a woman and was gay and said nothing. The family would have felt betrayed after he revealed the truth. This is not about Caitlyn’s sex change; this is an article about when would be the best time to share with persons you love your secret.
Once you identify someone as a potential lover, it is best to tell them your secret, whatever it is… whether you have been locked up in jail, you are separated and going through a divorce, have more children than you think is appropriate, has STD, has HIV Virus, feel like a woman in a man’s body, whatever it is, you owe it to the person to say what will clearly affect the person in the future.
There is always someone who will accept you for who you are; that is what love is, that is what love does.
It is your secret?
Identify a specific time and method, preferably by phone, in person is the preferred way to discuss. Make sure you allow enough time to tell your secret, describe what’s been going on with you and allow enough time for your interested love to respond. Your discussion may go beyond their response, so schedule time when you won’t be interrupted for possibly a few hours (however, there’s always the chance they should hear what you have to say and promptly hang up the phone).
There is really no guarantee how your interest will respond, but one thing is for sure, they will respect you. Coming out of the closet is good, but if your timing with persons you consider special, it pays to be honest; a clear conscience is the best thing you could ever have.