Lonely at Christmas

It is that time of year again! The Christmas season is probably the most celebrated time of the year. The first time I heard that there was a song done by the Emotions I could not believe the words on a day when I heard it was a couple of weeks after a brutal breakup.

The words brought tears to my eyes when I listened to the sad words that it really is the season to be jolly but how can you be when you have nobody.

Just recently I have been reading of some posters who are in marriages that were just not providing the kind of satisfaction that marriage should provide and these folks are feeling lonely, so what do the lonely do when they have somebody.

What I am beginning to understand is that having someone in your life and feeling lonely because of a lack of connection is not an unusual feeling. Even though the internet can bring us closer, it can also make us feel like we’re not really talking to our friends and can leave us feeling lost and alone.

Maybe the persons around you, spouse, close relatives, colleagues and others are just not on the same page with you, you are feeling like a misfit, you attend those year-end parties and will be dancing and drinking, laughing even, but there is a void inside that is just not being filled, feeling like you don’t fit can make the symptoms of loneliness even worse, and can mean it’s even more difficult to meet friends and feel connected thus feeling lonely at Christmas.

There is this sad feeling that has come over me, this is related to the fact that the only person that I have ever truly connected to my mother is now fighting the disease of dementia, she comes and goes, it would be better if she came or stayed, but the times when she is present does provide some amount of hope and leaves me very depressed when she is absent.

There is a study out that more and more persons are reporting that they are lonely, that was a surprise to me, with the phone, internet and various types of social media, how can you honestly feel lonely when the solution to the feeling of lonely is all around you?

The Office for National Statistics published, “The Prime Minister recently announced the development of a strategy to alleviate loneliness in response to the report of the Jo Cox Commission on Loneliness (PDF, 2.56MB) published in December 2017. As part of this, she requested that the Office for National Statistics (ONS) develops national measures of loneliness. ONS is now working with a cross-government group, charities, academics and other stakeholders to review the measurement of loneliness and publish recommendations on this later this year.”

There’s no one single way to fight loneliness: if there was, everybody would be using it! But that doesn’t mean that loneliness is impossible to beat, or that if you’re feeling it now you will be forever. For those of us in relationship/marriages and we too are fighting the same symptoms and feeling hopeless, maybe there are ways in beating this. We are not feeling heard or understood. We do not feel understood so the feeling of lonely is triggered by our expectations, maybe we could for Christmas take a different approach.

Call up a friend you have not spoken to in years.

Do not isolate yourself when you are feeling this way, talk it over with someone you can trust.

Remember, lonely is not a terminal disease.

See a doctor, it could be you are on the brink of depression, or something could be happening to your body and your mind is adjusting to something else.

Get a pet.

For those of us who are online junkies, stay online.

Whatever you do, remember no one is going to make your Christmas merry, take responsibility and have a Merry Christmas.