Fox News anchor Bill O’Reilly, known for his hard-line stance on family values and violence in the home, allegedly assaulted his ex-wife, dragging her down the stairs by her neck in front of the pair’s now 16-year-old daughters, according to court documents.
The documents were part of a recently-concluded child custody case in New York, in which a judge ruled that O’Reilly’s ex-wife Maureen McPhilmy would get custody of their two children. Though the vast majority of the case’s documents have been sealed because they deal with minors, Gawker has been able to confirm that the judge did in fact hear testimony about the alleged incident, which took place around 2010.
It can be anyone, this whole thing of physical abuse in a relationship is a reality and initially I would waste no time in jumping all over the men, now I ask both genders to take responsibility.
Abuse is so much more complex than we think, so instead of hating on the abuser, let us seek to heal both abused and abuser.
Progression of Abuse
Abuse may build gradually, and often with emotional abuse progressing to physical abuse, according to HelpGuide.org. Emotional abuse includes attempts to belittle, humiliate, criticize and control you. Your partner may tell you that you are to blame for her treating you poorly, and may be so jealous and possessive that she tries to prevent you from maintaining relationships with your friends or family members.
Relationship Types and Abuse
Physical abuse can occur at all income levels and at any age, and affect people of either sex. You may experience abuse whether you are married or dating, or are in a heterosexual or homosexual relationship. Escaping an abusive homosexual relationship may be particularly difficult. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that fear of homophobic law enforcement, court personnel, domestic violence programs and medical and social services providers may keep homosexual, intersex and transgender people from leaving abusive relationships.
Identifying Physical Abuse
Any threat or action that harms you, even in a very minor way, is physical abuse. HelpGuide.org says that minor abuse, infrequent abuse or abuse that stops if you become passive and give in to the wishes of your abuser still constitute physical abuse. Even if your partner only injures you once, you may still be at risk of physical abuse in the future.
It was interesting to note that I have never given my partner reason to feel I would hit her, in fact I have never hit a woman in my life, yet one day in a heated conversation she said it, ‘don’t hit me!’ I was taken by surprised and asked her, if I have ever done so before and why would she say something like that? She said, I just think one day you are going to do it. Whether you believe it or not, there are some passive aggressive persons who will push your button to the point of you wanting to or they plant a seed in your head, once you identify that you are in a volatile relationship, seek help immediately.
Warning Signs
Abusers may use emotional abuse to demean and belittle abusers, making you feel that you can do nothing to stop the abuse, or even that you deserve the abuse, and I would add some will give you the impression that you are an abuser even if you have no history. While physical abuse victims may be too ashamed to admit to being victims, obvious warning signs exist. If you think a friend or relative is being abused, look for the common signs of physical abuse. They include frequent accidents and injuries, missing work or school, wearing clothing that hide injuries and scars, wearing sunglasses indoors, being overly anxious to placate or please a partner and being unable to do anything or go anywhere without a partner’s approval. Abuse is so much more complex than we think, so instead of hating on the abuser, let us seek to heal both abused and abuser.
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