So you are in love, the relationship has been going on for a while, family and friends are reminding you that it is time now, that you guys have been dating for a while. Everyone who is married are sharing how beautiful their experiences were and if they had the chance to do it again they would. You see no reason why not and so he got you that ring that you were always thinking about, you both have spoken about this a million times and now it is becoming your reality. You start thinking about what the day of your wedding is going to look and so now you start your planning… oh yeah, counselling, “I do not like that Pastor or the Rabbi, I like that Pastor he is the one to officiating at the ceremony, and I can tell you those are some of things you will not remember when the day is done. I thought I knew what it was all about until it was time for us to plan our own wedding, it was not just getting an invitation and buying a gift, fitting a suit at the last minute and celebrating with your friends, this was my wedding, it did not go as well as I had wanted it to so I will share some things you need to take into consideration when you are going to get married.
- You’re Going to Offend, Disagree with, and Feel Guilty About at Least Someone During
This Time. Having a wedding is like throwing a big party (which is normally stressful), except the party is really a huge fancy ball that everyone has expectations and opinions about. Some people will inevitably want to be in the spotlight or take over the planning. You might discover your fiancé/fiancée has absurd taste in napkin colours and is willing to fight you to the death about it—or worse, he/she doesn’t care about the napkin colour. You might feel evil as you cut people from your guest list or make your wedding party spend more money on formal clothing.
- Being Indecisive Is Just as Bad as Being Bridezilla. I find it sometimes very challenging when I have several decisions to make, in fact I would just go to sleep before making a decision and this can become overwhelming if you take too long. If you waver or are unsure about any decisions, just wait or do your best if the time calls for it. It was amusing when the bridesmaids and the wedding planner would come to me because my finance would snap about what she did not like but no one could get from her what she actually liked, so they would come to me with their faces all frustrated because the time was passing and a decision could not be made.
- Splurge on the Most Important Things. Your wedding is a momentous, wonderful (and hopefully once-in-a-lifetime) occasion, and for that reason, we tend go overboard making sure every little thing is going to be perfect and everyone is happy. That awesome day, though, will really be just a blip in your many years of life as a married couple—and the things you (and your wedding guests) will remember most just months after the event will probably not be the things you worried about most. Irrespective of your budget, focus on the things that are important to you because your marriage is most important, you will not remember half of what took place, I can promise you that.
- Vet Your Wedding Vendors As Thoroughly As Possible. Even if a vendor is recommended bysomeone you know or by your wedding planner, if their service is essential to your wedding going well, make sure you’re absolutely on the same page. Maybe it was my wedding naiveté, but after discussing with the photographer about the videographer, he assured me that the guy was pretty good and so I just took his word for it. When we came back from the honeymoon and sat down to view the video it was a disaster and I just sat there wondering, what the hell went wrong? It was poorly edited, the music selection was horrible and I just sat there wondering how could I have overlooked this? Ugh! I am still upset after so many years.
- Make a Checklist of Photos You Want and Other Checklists. In a similar vein to much of the above, make sure your vendors know exactly the things you want to happen and keep yourself on track with the checklists. It’s not enough to just trust they know what they’re doing, because when you look back you might think, “Why didn’t I get a shot of just the ring bearers and flower girls?”
- Skip the Rituals That Don’t Really Matter to You. I’ll never forget when it was time to cut the cake the Master of Ceremonies asked my wife to put the cake in her mouth and feed me like a bird, yuk! I never liked to see couples do this crap, yet it was happening at my wedding, I remembered to this day the awful feeling of her spitting the cake down my throat, all my friends were cracking up, they all know how I am grossed out by stuff like this.
- Delegate, Delegate, Delegate. I don’t like asking for help, but ifthere’sonetimeIcould’ve used more help, it was during the wedding planning. People offered, of course, but I hadn’t learned yet the art of delegating and just relinquishing control.
Find the small things on your checklists you can trust others with, and let them do it if they want to help you.
- Ask Questions. Do notbe afraid to ask questions,it is better to be over prepared than to realize that you overlooked something and even if your wedding date is a year away, start planning now, today, irrespective of your partners opinion of saying, ‘hey this is way too early to start the planning’ or you can just do it behind their back, and I am not being funny.⇔