Sometimes loving someone can be painful, especially when the love is not reciprocated to you for one reason or another. When should you decide to go low contact or no contact? Enough abuse, dysfunction, bullying, drama, intrusion, insults, and toxicity for one lifetime. At what point do you decide to go “low contact” or “no contact” with partner or ex that you are desperately trying to get? Let us explore the low contact and what it means.
You cannot get him/her out of your mind, you have tried a thousand time, but giving up is out of the question for now, what can you do. You stalk their social media to see what they are up to, a familiar song on the radio, that perfume smell probably still left on your pillow, all kind of everything reminds you of that person. You cannot share the feelings with family and friends anymore, they are tired of hearing it, and would say, JUST GET OVER IT!
Calling and texting your ex or if you notice your partner slow fading is really not the best way to get them to come back or start paying attention to you. It really cannot make any sense anymore, so maybe why not try to control the amount of time you reach out?
Some call it, minimal contact, limited contact or let us call it for this article the low contact. Some persons prefer to start with the no contact then they transition to the low contact. It means managing the number of times you reach out to the one you care about.
It is really difficult to say to someone who you should do the low or high and at what point, but if you find that you are constantly initiating, and you never get a callback and if they call you, it feels like they are doing you a favour, then it is time to reevaluate your contact.
One of the many signs that are telling you it is time to do the low contact is when you decide to call and you have to second guess how the person is going to react to your call, if you feel like you are getting a panic attack when you think to call and if and when you do, you can hardly find anything to talk about, the person on the other line is making it so much more difficult for conversation, you may not want to give up, but it is time to make some adjustments.
If you find that you are texting your ex and they never reply, if you find that your calls are not being picked up and then 6 days later you receive a text message asking you if you tried calling; if you find that when you call they will answer but will say that they are busy and will call you back later and that call never comes; if you find that for every call you are reminded of how you hurt their feelings, that they are good with being your friend but they never do anything to create a friendship and you have to carry the weight of the friendship then it is time for low contact. If you are not sure how to apply this you can talk to an expert in relationship insight.
It will occur to you that using these methods could hurt your desire in getting your slow fading partner or your ex is coming back to you, that could be the case, because what is suggested here is not saying that it will turn things around in your favour, but it will provide an alternative instead of pushing and making your situation worse.
These moments of choice, no matter how we choose, are fraught and painful. I went no contact when it didn’t work with my ex-wife, months after she reached to me out of the blue, wanted to know if I forgave her and wanted to know if could give it another try, it was then that I discovered the power of no contact and low contact. The important thought is knowing in your heart you deserve better than you are being treated, we cannot always predict the outcome but we can manage how we respond to being treated poorly.
This is dedicated to Alex (love will find a way).