Sure you would think this is talking to boys or guys in their early twenties, but the question was asked of a man who is in his 60’s. Why is he always playing video games? Unfortunately, many women find themselves in a relationship with a partner or husband who plays video games. Many I should use the word unfortunate when addressing those who play a little too much video games and neglecting to address critical issues in the relationship. “For the partners of people who are obsessed with video games, it feels as if they are being ignored or even abandoned in favour of their boyfriend’s or husband’s latest computer game obsession”, said Dr Brenton Conrad.
Is this worth getting up about?
The question of quality time is important, of course, the definition varies from person to person, however, if a person is spending so much time on anything that would rob the relationship of quality time then it is time to take note.
If you find that the only time you get to talk with your partner is around the dining room table, when you are both going to the same event and what could be meaningful time spent together is replaced with him focusing on some video game and not you or anything else that should be done, then ouch!
Alone time is good for any relationship, what a person chooses to do during this time is really up to them, most men especially the homebodies will do a video game than hang out with a couple of friends having a drink, pick your poison. Why is he always playing video games?
It is really time to have a discussion if you feel you are replaced by a video game. There are some feelings if felt need to be addressed:
- Unappreciated
- Ignored
- Unimportant
- Disrespected
- Unloved
- Taken for granted
You should let your partner know this is how you are feeling without attacking your partner.
Do not assume it is an addiction. Many persons who enjoy playing a video game and is at it is based on their competitive nature to conquer the levels, it may have nothing to do with anything else.
Do not join your partner. Encourage your partner to do something with you, make it fun and interesting, what would be the point of complaining about his video game and so he puts it down and says, now what?
Do not settle. Say something, asking your partner to spend more time with you is not unreasonable, the problem is when both persons will not try anymore and they are just going through the motion is when the relationship can and will die.
When is therapy necessary. If you are at the point where you have tried everything and your partner is stubborn in his effort to affect the relationship then it is time to try therapy. How to approach this aspect can be complicated but if you encourage your partner to go to therapy not to fix the relationship or else, but to do something different that you can both learn something new that could enhance the fabric of the relationship then who knows… he just may agree to go.
If you think your partner is addicted to video games then you can do something about it, however, do not be too quick in giving up on your relationship and if you ask me, I would take that addiction over the others.
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