We often talk about abuse in a relationship and when we do we think about domestic abuse is one spouse hitting on the other, however, it is a little more than that.
There are several other areas that you should explore and one of them would answer why your boyfriend keeps breaking up and coming back.
It is a control mechanism which is called the withdrawal of affection or putting you on a guilt trip to control the way you react to him or the relationship will die.
Here are some tips that you may be in an abusive relationship:-
1. I love you but, is very common and is a conditional type of love, and I say a type of love because in the truth that is not loving.
2. Throw you a bone, is another type of abuse in which your partner does things for you as if doing you a favour, however, you know you are worth more than that.
3. Hyper-criticism, you can never do anything right for your partner.
4. Silent treatment or refusing to communicate, some will go for months and not say a word to their partner, how can you say you love someone and not say a word for months? Breaking up would be better.
5. Ignoring and excluding is another form of abuse, your partner will do things without you, purchase things without your input, have friends come over without your consent etc.
If you find that you are being manipulated by your partner with splitting up and coming back in any of these areas and you feel you have to be walking on eggshells in pleasing your partner, once you act or say something that your partner doesn’t like and they threaten to leave, then you could be in an emotionally abusive relationship. Splitting up and coming back can be used as an abuse.
You need to realize when you are in a toxic relationship when Your ex is Constantly leaving and coming back, understand that settling for this kind of treatment will only bring hurt and pain. Abusers are masters at manipulation, they have been doing it for a long time, however, they can’t succeed at this if you stand up for yourself and walk away, knowing that in the end you will finally meet someone who can appreciate you for who you are and a healthy relationship can be built instead of another break-up.
Break up is hard to do, but when it is happening a couple of times without any real reason for it that is truly dysfunctional.
You ended things for a reason, and you need to capitalize on that – you wanted more freedom, you wanted more independence, you didn’t want to be part of something toxic, you wanted to get back to being you. Before going back there has to be some introspection, breaking up is not the worst thing but not knowing the reason but keep getting back normally is suggesting a cycle that will hurt.