I didn’t read about these in a book—I lived them.
My marriage went through seasons where communication broke down, trust was bruised, and love seemed buried under stress and routine. But when I finally came to terms with the things I was doing wrong and began applying better principles, everything began to change quickly.
If you’re in a relationship right now—whether dating, engaged, or married—these are six behaviours you should avoid at all costs. I learned them the hard way, but I’m sharing them with you so you don’t have to.
1. Stop Keeping Score
I used to mentally count every time I did the dishes, gave up my preferences, or forgave something petty, waiting for my partner to “even the score.”
But relationships aren’t competitions. The moment you start tallying sacrifices, you stop giving from love and start operating from resentment.
Give freely—and trust that mutual respect will balance things out.
2. Don’t Let Small Offenses Grow Into Big Walls
I stayed quiet on things that hurt me. I swept them under the rug. But silence eventually gave way to distance, and distance gave way to disconnection.
What did I learn? Address issues early, gently, and honestly—before they snowball into bitterness.
3. Never Use Past Mistakes as Weapons
Bringing up old wounds in a new argument is like reopening a healed cut. I used to do it, especially when I felt cornered. But instead of helping my case, it just pushed my spouse further away. If you’ve truly forgiven, then let the past stay in the past. If you haven’t, discuss it, don’t weaponize it.
4. Avoid Taking Each Other for Granted
When life got busy, I stopped saying “thank you.” I stopped noticing the little things. But I learned that appreciation is the fuel of love. Make gratitude a habit, not a holiday. Whether it’s coffee made in the morning or a kind text, express appreciation often.
5. Stop Assuming You Know What They’re Thinking
I used to assume, “They’re mad at me,” or “They don’t care,” without asking. That only led to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflict. Ask instead of assuming. Clarify instead of guessing. You’d be surprised how often we misread the people we love.
6. Never Let Pride Be Louder Than Love
Sometimes I didn’t apologize—not because I wasn’t wrong, but because I didn’t want to be the first to admit it. That pride was poison. Real growth came when I chose love over ego.
Apologizing doesn’t make you weak—it makes you wise.
Things You Should Not Do in a Relationship
These lessons didn’t just change my marriage—they changed me.
The moment I stopped doing these six things, I began to see immediate, lasting transformation.
Our connection grew deeper. Our communication improved. Love became easier.
No relationship is perfect, but every relationship can improve when you’re willing to be honest with yourself and take responsibility for your part.
And it starts here, by knowing what not to do.
