How do you know your relationship is over? In a general sense, most of us can agree that it’s when the bad experiences with your significant other start to outweigh the good, relationships have their ups and downs. However, if you find that you are down the majority of the lifespan of the relationship, you can know your relationship is over.
Still, there’s often one single moment that signifies the end of a relationship — whether or not we recognise it at the time. In relationship talk with all the people that we talk to on a day-to-day basis, there are some signs that signify that a relationship is definitely over, and so I will share with you.
1. Your number one source of stress is your significant other.
“Being with your partner should be something that takes away stress, but over the course of the relationship, if your number one stressor is your partner, this is an indicator.”
2. You can’t see yourself being with your partner for the long haul.
“We were at a wedding I was in, and multiple times this thought passed through my mind: ‘This will never be us.’ It wasn’t even a question; it was a certainty. It was scary as hell. He noticed something was off, I eventually talked about how I was feeling, and it came out that while things were great right now, we both wanted something different down the road. We called it off and have been on great terms ever since, but damn… that moment. At a crossroads with one way leading to denial and the other leading to the terrifyingly unfamiliar.” Said Sonya Bullock, member of a singles ministry group.
21 SIGNS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS OVER.
3. There’s a communication breakdown — and that’s OK with you.
When important things are happening in your life and your partner is not the first person you want to share them with, and your inner voice is talking to you about things you may fear, but you cannot discuss with your partner, it’s over. COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT!
4. You’re happier alone than with your partner.
When you are alone and feel so much better than when you are both hanging together, just sitting and watching your favourite movie and would feel anxious if he called and said he was coming by, you just feel your personal space was violated.
5. You are your partner’s sounding board — and little more.
You have these goals and dreams, and when you run them by your partner, all you get is criticism and put-downs. Your partner is supposed to be your sounding board, your motivator, your support system; a relationship should only serve the purpose of making you better; if that is not the primary reason for being with someone, then it’s over. HOW TO HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
6. You think about breaking up.
Whenever you both argue, when you are alone in the quietude of your home, when you think about your partner or you are out with friends, and all you think about is breaking it off, you can know your relationship is over.
7. Your partner tries to corral you away from your family and friends.
“My mom and Partner didn’t get along. After nagging for about two years about how bad of a person my mother is (she is a fantastic mother and a great person), my girlfriend asked me to delete my mom from Facebook and cease communication. I literally had to have family life separate, and I am a very family-oriented person. I couldn’t even think of bringing up a kid in an environment like that.” Said Johnson, a good friend of mine, I literally saw the agony on his face.
8. Your partner constantly threatens to end it.
It is very sad when your partner resorts to breaking up the relationship when she is losing an argument, she is confused when you do not take her out for dinner, and you literally have to be doing stuff to keep her happy or the threat of leaving and for the woman, the same. Do not allow anyone to hold you hostage in your relationship.
You know your relationship is over
“I knew we were done when I realised I was no longer myself. I used to be outgoing, had lots of friends, and smile and laughed all the time. Then I moved to another country with him and wasn’t allowed to talk to my best friends because they were friends with one of my exes. During the weekends, he went out partying, while I sat at home because I didn’t want him to think I was hitting on other guys while we were out. When I realised I had been crying and fighting every day for two months straight, I decided that enough was enough.” Do not allow yourself to feel like an option. Once that happens, be brave, you can know your relationship is over, just be observant to your inner voice.
For deeper insight into knowing when a relationship is truly over, consider Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay (Mira Kirshenbaum), Attached (Amir Levine & Rachel Heller), Set Boundaries, Find Peace (Nedra Glover Tawwab), and Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends (Bruce Fisher & Robert Alberti).
