The single life was an interesting experience one that I am not going to share in totality, just to give bits and pieces in helping those who struggle to see another side of being single and loving it.
It all started when I would go to family gatherings, I have two brothers and a sister, I am the oldest of the three so when my brothers got married before me, it apparently was always a topic for discussion. I was beginning to be uncomfortable around family, for this reason, there I was thinking something was wrong with me because I was comfortable being single.
In my local church, they have a singles ministry and the way it is interpreted are persons who are sad and lonely and needs protection.
Who can you talk to when you need love? There are so many you can talk to because what is important at that time is not a quiet lover but someone who is engaging and interesting and the world is filled with persons like that.
So here is what worked for me. The feeling of loneliness has triggers. It could be linked to anything, food, a familiar smell, watching an old movie, etc. the feeling, however, doesn’t last. In fact, if you are feeling this way on a Saturnight after a long day and just need that someone to share the evening with and that person is not in your life just keep reminding yourself that it is just temporary and will eventually go away. Mistakes are made when persons are lonely, they will compromise their principles just to ensure that the lonely feeling doesn’t stay by doing the wrong thing in feeling connected.
Irrespective of how bad you think the single is, be married to a selfish person, a psychopath or an angry person and you will be wishing to go back. Did I mention being married to an alcoholic? Single and dreading it requires some education and you should be fine.
Nothing compares to knowing that you are growing stronger emotionally, and you are comfortable in your own skin. Nothing is more empowering than knowing that you can take care of yourself. If you are with a group and there are mostly couples, embrace being single and use to your advantage. Share your funny stories of being single with married couples. Promote your business. Instead of feeling like you don’t relate, or don’t fit in, listen with an empathic heart and have gratitude that you’ve endured a broken heart and survived. You have no partner right now to endure these troubles with. You came alone, with no relationship issues and you leave alone, with none either!
WORKING LATE!
It was something I took for granted, but coming home late from the office and when I got home it was just my voice, no one calling to ask me where I was and to hurry up! I just took my time, even stopped to take a bite, but when you are tired and just need a hot shower and some sleep, single life is priceless.
I am writing a blog about being single, yet I am married and happily so if I needed to add that, in fact, my wife and I just celebrated our first anniversary and we are happy, but I was equally elated when I was single, so if the question is asked ‘what is your preference?’ I would say that in both there are challenges in both, so I prefer none over the other.
This is just to remind singles that you just need to be comfortable and brighten the corner where you are.
I’d always thought I had to have a woman by the age of 28 or else I was doing something wrong. When I climbed up to 38 and was still single I panicked a bit. While evaluating my relationship at the time, it was clear that I could not marry the woman that was with and that almost left me with a heart attack! I would run into relationships after relationships, never with the thought of building a friendship, but to see if this woman had what was necessary for getting married, how twisted was that?
You only live once and as a single, you’re 100% independent. In my case, I was single, got married then divorced and became a divorcee, LOL! As a single, you’re accomplishing everything alone, when many others have a partner to fall back on. This is a victory, not a pity party! Find other singles like yourself and just enjoy the moment, the days and months.
From dreading being single to getting married to being single again, after a year into my divorce and doing my own thing I was completely enjoying my freedom, some think you will never be the same after a divorce, but you can be so much better. I started dreading going back into the dating game! I will never forget my first date for a long time, I did not know what to say and normally I am talkative, I just freaked out, thinking that I didn’t want to give up my single life. I was having too much of a good time, so I put up a “Do not disturb – enjoying the single life!” sign up on my life for a little bit longer—two whole years, in fact.
Showering love and adoration takes energy. So take your energy and invest your love and adoration into the one person who will always be there with you: YOU.
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