For those of us who have been in a long-distance relationship, we know the stress, truth is, that is a part of what makes a long-distance relationship interesting. Just listening to words can build you up so high, the wait can either make the relationship or break the relationship.
Being apart from the person whom you want to be the most with is very stressful. And when you and your partner are stressed, misunderstandings and conflicts can arise very easily. Let us see how we can navigate a relationship that is potentially workable but stressful.
My experience with a long-distance relationship is still fresh in my mind, those were the days when there was no internet, it was all letters and photos taken on those polaroids, the pixels were so bad you could hardly recognise the persons face, especially if the person is not a great photographer.
Then we got the telephone and that was a game-changer. We could not get enough of talking with each other, it is amazing the conversations that you thought then was fantastic, I am still laughing at the idea, but it was fun then, it can be fun again.
Long-distance relationships can truly be emotional rollercoasters. There are high highs and low lows. Relationships of any kind can bring up a lot of feelings. So whether it’s in a journal, to a friend, family member, Facebook group, or therapist, let it all out!
Keeping your feelings bottled up will only make you feel anxious, and you’re bound to explode when you reach your breaking point.
Be your true self, expressing your feelings to your partner is always important, do not bottle it up and or it will come out in ways you may not agree with. Just like with a “regular” relationship, you don’t want to wait until you’ve reached your last straw to voice your concerns about an issue.
Do not neglect others
Your friends and family members are always going to be important in your life, engage them, keep reminding them that you love them. Do not immerse yourself in your relationship so much and forget about others, this can add to our stress level because our expectations will go up on the long-distance relationship and when those expectations are not realized, we spiral out of control, remember to have balance in our lives.
It’s good to think positively, but at the same time, you want to be realistic when you’re in a long-distance relationship.
You may want your partner to text you regularly and they may not be text available person, this can be rather frustrating if you both cannot find a balance.
You both decide to reach out to each other before bed, but this may not be realistic for one. You and your partner have your own lives in separate places and you won’t always be available to video chat at the same time…especially when different time zones come into play.
Another important aspect is to communicate about is the “end goal” of the relationship. Do you want to be long-distance forever? Probably not. You’ll have to discuss what you want your future to look like together, and if it’s possible to achieve, it is a great platform to build on, but sometimes when you are not sure where it is all going it can contribute to an insecure feeling. If you aren’t on the same page with your expectations and hopes for the future, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.
Hobbies are important.
There is a bright side to a long-distance relationship, you can focus on personal growth and achievement, give it your everything and see the fruit of your labour.
Think back to when you were single. What activities did you enjoy doing alone or with your friends? Maybe it’s time to get back into painting or yoga or take up a brand new hobby that you’ve always been interested in learning about.
Learning to play the piano was always a thing for me, but I never started learning until I was in my 20’s and I can tell you, it was during my long-distance relationship days that I got the most work done.
Plus, trying something new is a great way to make new friends! It’s a lot easier to curl up on the couch and binge-watch some Netflix, but let’s be real — it’s way more rewarding to do something. I had a group of friends who played volleyball, we would meet up and chat and it was fun, it kept me focused and certainly from the temptation of other attractive women.
Treat Yourself Regularly.
Take yourself out on a date. Dress up and go to dinner, just you and listen to your subconscious voice, it can be very empowering. Watch people checking you out as you sit to eat and do not be surprised if someone comes over and say, “May I join you?”
Loving and pampering yourself is just as important as loving and pampering your partner. While you fall deeper in love with your partner, remember to continue to fall in love with yourself.
Your sex life
Sex is important in any relationship…even long-distance ones. Just because you can’t have sex with your partner doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself!
It is beneficial to your sex life in general if you can talk about your likes and dislikes with your partner. Of course, if you’re comfortable with it, you can experiment with sexting or phone sex with your partner, too! Just remember balance, the more comfortable you both are in talking about it, the more comfortable you both will be when you are both together. The right time and place will make it so much more special for you both.
The stress of a Long Distance Relationship
Enjoy your long-distance relationship, I hope you can because if you can survive the long-distance relationship, chances are you will survive being with each other. Do not make it an eternity to be with each other. Good luck, and send me the invite when the time comes.