When two people in a romantic relationship have different attachment styles, then the way those two attachment styles play out has a significant impact on whether the relationship can last.
Unfortunately, some romantic relationships do end in breakups. Unfortunately, this will happen more often than not especially if you are anxious avoidant but all is not lost as the way back to your dismissive/ambivalent avoidant ex comes back to a place of understanding.
Learning about the meaning of attachment styles and how to make an avoidant ex miss you, along with 12 effective techniques to make that ex miss you, is necessary.
Just deciding to contact your ex and letting them know that you miss them is not the way to go when it comes to learning about how to make an avoidant ex miss you. You will feel anxious when you are not hearing from them and although this article is written for a young man who is trying to get his lady back, I will say them because many persons are having very similar experience.
Before jumping right into learning about how to make an avoidant ex miss you, it is important to have a comprehensive understanding of the very concept of attachment styles.
Without knowing the meaning of the term attachment style, the types of attachment styles, how it develops, and how an individual’s attachment style can be appropriately identified, you won’t be able to make an ex miss you.
It is pivotal to answer those basic questions that may be flooding your head, like “do avoidants miss their ex?” and “do avoidant partners come back?”. They miss their ex and in fact sometimes are very lonely but they try to suppress this feeling at all cost. Winning Back Your Avoidant Partner.
One of the first things to understand and accept for figuring out how to re-attract an avoidant ex is that you need to behave in a manner that will work for someone with an avoidant attachment style.
Usual tricks like manipulation or jealousy will not cut it for dismissive avoidants or anxious fearful-avoidants. They’ll just be urged to distance themselves even more from you. Having an open dialogue when they are not ready for the conversation will push them further away, communicating your undying love with cards and flowers will not cut it either, but there is a way.
So, firstly, please remember to play by your ex’s rules. Do what your ex wants you to do. Respect that. The operative word is to be neutral. Neutral meaning, you will do and say things that will provide energy to the relationship, whether platonic or intimate, you sacrifice your needs so that the connection can be improved, once the connection is established and trust is rebuilt, you can share your fears and concerns, this will take lots of time and patience.
After coming to terms with this, the next thing you need to do to learn how to make an avoidant ex miss you is to avoid your ex! This may sound counterproductive, but I will continue with the explanation for your comprehensive understanding.
Providing adequate space and time to your ex is essential in learning how do you get love avoidant back. This space and time provided to your avoidant ex are important for various reasons. These include:
- The avoidant ex, whether fearful-avoidant or dismissive-avoidant, is getting what they needed and asked for out of the breakup
- Your ex gets enough time to process their emotions effectively.
- Your avoidant ex also has the time to look at the relationship from a rational perspective while processing their feelings.
- Giving time and space to your ex will also help them respect you for respecting their needs.
- It will show your ex that you are a good listener and quite wise by nature.
- Your ex will also get the opportunity to see you for the person you indeed are instead of the person they thought you were in their head.
Patience is another key aspect of effectively learning how to get a fearful avoidant back. The value and time and space can only be effective in getting your avoidant ex to miss you if they are given enough time. I know it can be very difficult for you when they scamper off into another country and you get very little about what is going on, but try to occupy your time wisely, establish your trust base, if there is any hanky panky on their part, the truth will come out.
At this point, you may be wondering: will an avoidant miss you? The thing is, when you are patient enough to give them a lot of time and space, they will initially get back to their everyday life. They will neither miss you nor demand time or attention from you. Winning back your avoidant partner.
But then slowly, as they try to carry on with their everyday life, they will experience various stressors in their life, which in turn will possibly make them miss you. Do not worry if they refer to another as reaching out, this is testing you to see if you will volunteer to fill the gap, do not get flustered by the test, it is a part of their processing.
Consistency in giving your avoidant ex space is also key for making an avoidant ex miss you. If you’re not consistently giving them space, they’ll get irritated. I am sure all of us who have dealt with an avoidant can attest to this.
For instance, if you gave them space for a few days and then started communicating with them, telling your avoidant ex that you miss them, love them, and want them back, it won’t help you. Many guys and girls will think that this will bring them back, but that is just not how the avoidant interpret love.
They will experience an even stronger urge to distance themselves from you.
Therefore, consistency in your behavior is key to learning how to make an avoidant ex miss you and answer the question, will the avoidant ex come back? This is important for you to remember, we all love differently, what works for one person may not work for another, but all of us need love, all of us need affection, but we want it differently.
Now that you’re well acquainted with the basic components of how to make an avoidant ex miss you, let’s now take a look at 15 effective techniques that will help you in this endeavor.
These techniques include:
Stop supporting your avoidant ex
Physically, emotionally, or financially supporting an avoidant ex is not the way to go. Your ex must understand that the decision to break up with you comes with its fair share of consequences. Sending flowers for Valentine’s Day would be fine, but supporting her continually is not recommended.
Supporting your ex while missing them terribly will result in an ‘avoidant ex keeps coming back’ situation. If your ex needs space from you to get them to miss you, they need to miss your support as well. So, cease all support.
Stop any and all forms of direct communication with your ex
For giving adequate time and space to an avoidant ex, stopping all forms of communication like calls, video calls, texts, emails, etc., is essential. If you’re constantly flooding them with messages that express how you miss them, they’ll be tempted to avoid you even more. If you have done that already then the other phase is to continue to make yourself scarce until you get the full commitment, do not take the bait of being there for them when they are not specific about the commitment, they know if they wanted you back they can have you, but they sometimes want to eat their cake and have it.
So, stop communicating with your avoidant ex. It’ll give them time to process their feelings and determine how they feel about you.
Avoid flooding them with your presence on social media platforms
Although your activity on social media platforms like posting stories or posts is not a direct attempt at communicating with your avoidant ex, it can still convey how much you miss them.
So, even if you post on social media, you can put restrictions on who can see your stories or posts. In this way, your ex may notice your absence on social media. They may therefore miss you.
Add an element of mystery
Finding ways to become a bit more mysterious can get your ex’s attention. Say you run into a colleague or friend of your ex.
Try not to disclose exactly what you’re up to or reveal everything about how you’re spending your time single. In this way, if this is conveyed to your ex, they will also be curious.
Focus on your health
This time and space that you give to your ex can be utilized to work on yourself and take care of your physical and mental health. Exercising, pursuing your hobbies, eating well, journaling, etc., are all great ways to focus on yourself instead of your ex.
Take care of how your present yourself
If you want to lure your ex by reminding them what they’ve chosen to distance themselves from, then make sure you make yourself look very physically attractive. Work on shaping up your body. Many persons overeat, just getting lazy and watching TV because you feel down in the mouth is a recipe for disaster when it comes to getting back your avoidant partner.
Boost your avoidant ex’s ego
Think about some ways in which you can boost your avoidant ex’s ego. This is because an avoidant style of attachment is characterized by low self-esteem. So, boosting your ex’s ego can be instrumental in modifying their attachment style.
Patience is imperative
As already mentioned, without patience, none of these techniques will work. You have to be mindful about not suffocating your ex with your desires and feelings. Let them live. Focus on yourself.
Find out ways to show your ex that you’ve moved on
Think about how your ex can get to know that you’re in the process of moving on. If you have common friends and come across your ex’s colleagues or companions, you can let them know that you’re in this process of moving on. If you suffer from a low self-esteem yourself, this approach can be very tricky, think about it and try it, 100% of who gets it right, get the ex to come back.
Try going out on dates and exploring your options.
Take out the time to learn more about romantic relationships
Instead of thinking about what are the signs an avoidant loves you and whether your ex will come back, this is a great time to introspect about relationships. Think about what didn’t and did work in your past relationships.
Relaxing After Good Workout
Live with purpose and have fun. There’s no point in troubling yourself by asking questions like “will fearful avoidant come back?” or “do dismissive avoidants miss you?”. Focus on the quality of your life. Hang out with your loved ones. Try new things. Discover your purpose and passion in life.
Don’t rush your avoidant ex
If your ex has specifically or directly told you that they want you back, but they need time alone first, make sure that you don’t rush your ex at all. This is key for learning how to make an avoidant ex miss you. Rushing your ex can make them feel irritated and disrespected.
Dress up if you are going to run into them
No matter if it’s a planned meeting or you have a hunch about running into them, dress up to kill. Be sure that your avoidant ex realizes what they are missing. It never hurts to look good anyway! If you notice that dressing up, changing your ride, looking the part is always noticed by them, and the colouring of your hair.
Change your image
If your avoidant ex has known you to be a dependable and clingy person who is not self-sufficient, it’s time to break that image. Take things in your hand and become independent and do it fabulously. Do not ask her in future to come over and make a thing of it, allow her to miss you so much and envy being in your company that she is begging to come over.
An avoidant partner always expects disappointment, and when they are proved wrong, they long for that person.
Winning Back Your Avoidant Partner
Remember to implement these techniques if you wish to Winning Back Your Avoidant Partner. You must make the person miss you so that they understand your worth! And remember too that understanding neutrality and practicing is essential to gaining confidence in yourself.